Gotta Get Going But Stay Balanced

It has been too long since I have visited my blog. Mostly because of my previous post on Grieving. It has been over 6 months since my niece passed on, and yet some days it feels like it was just yesterday. I need to move beyond the grieving, but still always remember. There needs to be balance.

In the past 6 plus months there have been quite a few changes in my life, but then, isn’t life all about changes. I went to Kris’ Celebration of Life. I flew out of Grand Rapids on the 6:50 am flight, and returned the next morning at 12:50 am. I think the term ‘red eye’ flight would be appropriate!

My job would change in September. I worked for the same company from October 18, 2014 until December 7, 2016. At the time of Kris’ passing, I worked at the Grand Rapids location, servicing medical claims. September 9, 2016, I moved back over to the Holland location for the Open Enrollment period. As a licensed insurance agent, I had the advantage over non-licensed in that I could work both locations. October 17, 2016 found the Grand Rapids location permanently closing, due to a lost contract. Having already transferred back to Holland, I dodged the bullet. But only for a few more months. By the end of December, most of the licensed agents were unemployed.

I am still currently unemployed. I have few marketable skills due to having been a stay-at-home mom. I raised my children and other people’s children. I had all the skills necessary for that particular ‘job’. No further skills needed, so I believed. I was wrong, and so my life as a single adult (since 2011) has been a life of learning.

In the midst of all the other changes and downward swings in my financial standing, I have also had to deal with my health. As a disabled veteran (30% rating), I get to go to a VA clinic for my health care. The doctor I have been seeing, since 2012, has not been very helpful. I have brought up my concerns about a few things, concerning my gut, in each of my annual wellness checks, starting in 2015 – that’s 3 visits. He finally referred me to a gastroenterologist this year!

Last Wednesday (03/15/2017) I had the ‘pleasure’ of an endoscopy and colonoscopy – a double dose!! And the results confirmed all the things I’ve been asking about for 3 years. Meanwhile, I’ve had to live my life sick, self-diagnosing, trying yet another ‘cure’. Now, in just a few hours, I was able to get the answers.

And now, I get to move forward. To finally bring some balance into my life. I still don’t have a lot of marketable skills, but I have some time, thanks to unemployment benefits, to really search out the jobs that are available to me. And maybe take a risk and try something new. I now have answers to my gut questions. I have to stay faithful with my eating habits if I want to  keep the pain and discomfort of IBS and gastritis at bay. And let’s throw in a hiatal hernia for good measure!

But knowledge is power. God has brought me to a place of getting answers. It’s been in His timing, not mine. I would have liked the answers years ago, but He has a reason for it being now.

I will daily rejoice in Him. Ultimately, He is my answer and my reason for being.

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